| oh how the tides have turned. |
[12 Mar 2008|05:04pm] |
After many years of actively avoiding tbay at all costs, (with the exception of a gorgeous christmas time visit) I am now lusting after the damn city. Toronto is a city comprised of cold hospitals, commuters and part-time acquaintances.
Any normal girl would "give up", I thankfully was raised to be a stubborn, crazy beeeatch.
Can I give up? Who picks up the pieces in the city of strangers?
I can tell you who will cast them a worried look.... that would be the beau. Perhaps he should be referred to by a different name from now on, since mentioning it no longer conjures up lame giggles, another lost lame pun.
I am now a stranger in my own fancy-pants Toronto condo.... I never fit in here anyways, fuck it!
Six weeks... feasible, if I keep a stiff upper lip, and a solid totter hobble walk to take me from point a to point z.
I could use a helping hand, or a sturdy shoulder to harbour my tears and fears.
Takers?
The circumstances are dire, and my outlook is reduced to 30 minute increments.
time to slap on a smile and dress myself in emotional armour, only the finest shall do this time around.
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| Holllllly, long time! |
[17 Dec 2007|12:50am] |
A great friend of mine reminded me of the joys of livejournal.
I only ever posted anything in this when I was extremely at odds with the world. I truly believe that I am a much more optimistic lady now, which trust me, is a good thing. Being pissed and bitter only gets you so far. Hard work and a smile will get you farther.
I am absolutely tickled about going home!
I am also absolutely sleepy.
I will be seeing you soon, dear old livejournal. I shall.
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[12 Nov 2006|11:57pm] |
Sometimes my life is a bag of cockrags, I'm okay with that.
Losing a friend or two? It just makes me cream my panties with joy.
Other times fate leaves you a laptop and the desire to visit big city pawnshops.
What a glorious time.
Remember, remember the 12th of November.
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[21 Aug 2006|09:07pm] |
I have tried this summer to either be some one I am not, or to fight the person I am meant to be. The real truth might continue to elude me for some time.
Can I just say that a fair amount of spite towards near all circumstances is from anger. The anger of a broken heart.
Unlike most, romance isn't what breaks my heart, it is my friends, although lately most have wondered how the hell I have the audacity to use such a term.
Why do I let the same badasses continually break my heart? Faith. I have faith in what seems to be the most ridiculous thing of all my friends. This is an insult to some degree and trust me if I tell you of my undying love for your quirky ways on an ongoing basis then this is not you, so bite your tongue biatch if you are jumping to all the wrong conclusions.
Maybe I am working towards a goal of happiness I feel is collected from the common cold. Some stuffy snot ridden epiphany.
Lately I've been curling up to a depression, it's a wild affair hot and heavy, consumed me whole before I had the chance to ask for fries or even a bottle of fiji.
I wish I could make the best of my life, the way I shed sensical thought onto others.
That is yet another reason to steer clear of Psych, I'll go home baffled and enraged that I could never fix my tedious self-esteem issue and cock ass depression.
I'm convinced I only need myself.
To some degree.
Sure as shit wrong, wonder how to go about materializing these miracle cures.
I hate coming home smelling like coffee. The chiropractor is stealing my money and my soul on the side all for the hefty cost of coming home feeling as though every procedure was carried out with a baseball bat.
But this previous life I crave eighty percent of the time is what brought me to the mess I am today.
Funny the way that works.
I crave familiarity, a sarcastic banter, and some caribou eats and a hoito buffet.
I would also like to deck my halls with gorgeous art work of all sizes from people I know. Always a sucker for sentimental smells.
Haircut is needed possibly to inspire me althogether.
Pork is not my friend.
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[18 Jul 2006|05:54pm] |
I feel as though the past few weeks I've been a stranger not only to myself but others perhaps.
Some form of me is walking around in this strange body and I guess it gives others the right to say "looks like we just don't need each other right now" strange indeed.
As the days once again become shorter bit by bit I become more uncomfortable with my major Psychology.
Here is my plea to the world of livejournal:
With respect of your current knowledge of me, what are my aptitudes, what can you see me being successful at for a minimum of three years ( or more)
Merci beaucoup for any thoughts or commentary on this matter.
This sounds so detached.
I dearly miss Kayley, mucho mucho missing here.
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[03 Apr 2006|12:31pm] |
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Looks lovely outside today, perhaps I will juice up the energy to go for a walk. As of right now it feels like I have food poisoning, and my right knee is totally out for lunch due to my workout yesterday.
I shall go anyways even if it is around the block.
Hoooooorahs for tax refunds that really can't entirely be used.
It's nice to know I have money though right?
I just recieved an apology email... I know her so well. I must say I was not expecting it this early.
I want to cook all day, and bake many delicious things that shall make me even more sick.
Frisbeeeeeeee!!!! I realize it is ridiculously windy! Frissssssbeee.
It must be strange... being accused of being intimidating makes me giggly.
Hand claps are near as good as cowbell in a song.
Some one adventure with me!
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[21 Mar 2006|11:37am] |
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For once I wish I could learn how to take care of myself.
The distance is.... destroying whatever piece of mind I currently have.
Depletion of solidarity.
Solidarity sisters!
To say the least I woke up (if you can even call that a sleep) swearing viciously, not going to prove to be a good day.
There is little comfort for me to grasp to in this town anymore. I shall rely upon laying down in showers and my baby blankie.
What the fuck am I going to do this summer, where should I go?
More importantly do I have enough piss and vinegar left in me to move across the country.
It is time to hit up the shower.
I just realized how rare it is for me to really, actually write in my livejournal. It's all senseless shit sentences thrown together.
I can't believe I have lasted this fucking long, in this god forsaken fucking family.
ieaohrfeaufhnauigaheiufhaeuigaelfaegeaf
Where the hell are you Kayley?
Shit Cock Ass Fuck Damn Tit... just incase the vulgarity wasn't ridiculously high already.
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[13 Mar 2006|05:40pm] |
I really loathe it when it blizzards and some one you know drives up and waves to you, and leaves you there standing in the cold, becoming a snowman.
This crazy short man, half-assed flagged down the bus near the hospital. Once he had gotten on the bus, he pulls out nail clippers and proceeds to clip his finger nails. I am distracted by the annoying noise so I look up, only to see him wearing a typical nanook of the north type pompom toque that says FINGER LICKIN' GAY!!!
Strange strange man.....
It's a night for baths and A Roman holiday. Too bad essays and novels beckon.
Who am I kidding I procrastinate like nobody's business.
I think perhaps once and for all, Brian and I shall be proper friends.
Hopefully the blanket of friendship shall hold with others... hahahah the analogy still makes me giggle.
Blargh this is a blah entry.
I've felt like a true blue nutcase since getting back from Toronto and Kingston. Hopefully things are settling down body and mind.
Have I mentioned that yet, how bitter I am about being sick... STILL! I better have developed pneumonia, at least then I would be at rest. Curse my bronchials and my bad genes.
I think I am developing anxiety related problems with Lakehead.... it's suffocating to even attend class.
And to think only yesterday spring had arrived. Mother Nature is trying to play me for a fool.
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[13 Mar 2006|01:39am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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Is it enough ?
-------- says:
well what
-------- says:
you think you're a small matter in my life?
------ says:
you're a big part of my life
----- says:
whether I talk to you or not
---- says:
you're there and I can't change that
----- says:
It's been too long for anything to take anything away
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[16 Feb 2006|11:45pm] |
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mood |
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 soooooooooooo sore |
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I am walking death.
Concussion, whiplash, bruised bones nearly all down my left side....... bronchitis, tonsilitis, and strep throat.
Tomorrow Toronto and Kingston......... gorgeous gorgeous Patrick. I can not wait to be sernaded with Disney songs once more.
Toronto needs to be lovely I can get tasty ass food.
This entry is lame but I am in way too much pain, hauling around luggage is a brillant plan. I am still going, fuck the doctors advisements.
Whore ass....
I might cry.
Health is an illusion, one I would like to obtain.
I have been incredibly lonely the past few days, and although nobody can really touch me, I would still prefer it to blood, tears and quiet yells.
let the games begin..
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[13 Feb 2006|03:57pm] |
Somehow the stars alligned and two people dreamed of me last night. It has made me giggly after a bad day.
eric says:
I had a dream about you
taryn says:
really
taryn says:
what about
eric says:
nothing really, we were just hanging out, and then I walked you home, but for some reason we had to walk through insane puddles, like flood the streets style, then I was surprised you lived so close, and suggested we hang out more often *shrugs*
taryn says:
hahahahah
taryn says:
were we wearing rubber duckies?
eric says:
no, but we were climbing on stuff to get past the puddles, we both found it very amusing
eric says:
it ruled, we had alot of fun haahaha
blossoms begin to die says:
i was at the mall, meeting my friend, who i'm not really friends with anymore and we were going to this pretzel place inside...
blossoms begin to die says:
and as i was walking to the place i wanted to get one at, we passed like...10 other pretzle places. then i got to where i wanted to be
blossoms begin to die says:
and we sat down, and my friend said hi to some girl he knew, then you walked in, and it was very crowded by the way....
blossoms begin to die says:
and i stuck my foot out so your hip hit it, then you turned and were like...'woah, hi!'
blossoms begin to die says:
so you bent over and gave me a hug, then kissed me on the forehead, and sat next to me with your arm around me. and that's all
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[12 Feb 2006|11:13am] |
Cursed out my co-workers.
Pringles took flight.
As did the back of my hand.
Fired from work.
Or did I quit?
We shall see what happens when I go in there today.
It might have just been a dream....
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[09 Feb 2006|01:10pm] |
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Decidedly when you cry while watching Days of our lives there are other issues in your life that might need some sort of attention.
Aaron unblocked me last night and asked me to call him, it could very well be strange that I did not question this request at any point in time. Avoiding all explainations, asking what is old instead of new. I must say I giggled nearly throughout all of it, seemingly there is something positively hilarious about things fucking up.
I wonder where things stand now, although I do not think anyone could answer that question.
How does one even determine the level of friendship with a person.... is he still my best friend. Certainly he knows me in a way that nobody else ever will.
Sigh, guess it is time to get drunk and dance this weekend. This involves you Kayley, you know it does.
Although I did lose my wallet in Chad's car last weekend, I do remember the pact to be drunk this weekend. I am not sure I really want to drink, but I surely want a distraction of sorts.
I need Toronto and Kingston tomorrow, not a week from now. Fuck a week?!?! I need to buy my tickets.
Countdown to Valentine's day... getting drunk with Justin, Steve and the band........ buahahahahhahahaha. Kim damn well be in town by then.
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[07 Feb 2006|07:53pm] |
And this is why I love Kim.....
I needed to shout it loud and proud... and all of that shit.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
taryn says:
I need to fucking rock the textbooks
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
word
taryn says:
and I am totally ass fucked for these assignments
taryn says:
but WHATEVS
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
rock it like columbus rocked the new world
taryn says:
WHATEVS I SAY
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
WHATEVS yo
taryn says:
he rocked it h-core
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
FUCK DICKENS
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
hahahah I enjoy that way too much
taryn says:
that is what I will shout tomorrow once I have a mental breakdown
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
YES
taryn says:
FUCK DICKENS FUUUUUUUUUUCK DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEENSSSSSS
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
can I please hear it?
taryn says:
hahahahhahahahaa I will get some one to videotape it with my digital camera
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
YESSS
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
I would loooove it
taryn says:
I need to make an ass out of myself at every school I attend
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
me too
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
thats why I kiss profs
taryn says:
that is because you are badass
taryn says:
I am just an ass
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
LMAO
taryn says:
plain jane ass
taryn says:
president's choice ASS
Kim - Never kiss a professor..ever. Most randomly drunk Monday of my life. says:
omg NOOOOO
taryn says:
I don't even GOTS NOOOOOO NAME
taryn says:
ISSSSEEE BE THAT EFFING LAME
taryn says:
YOU KNOW HOW WE DO
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[07 Feb 2006|11:50am] |
Ah!
Good ol' fucking livejournal.
By that I mean that typically I stare at this blank screen, trying to decipher whether or not I have the will to put my thoughts onto something quasi concrete.. zeee cyberspace.
I am nearly completely exhausted. So... FUCK!
Swear as much as possible as some sort of diversion.. perhaps then both you and I shall not notice my procrastination.
OH god... I really miss Kim. I can't wait to go to Toronto and yes GET DRUNK RIGHT OFF MY ASS!
I do believe that is now the plan... Kingston is going to be relaxing.
Thunder Bay literally sucks out my soul... and having a lovely lovely person give me the option of coming to Seattle to escape it all is all too tempting at 4 am.
Realistically Vancouver is just a better way to go.
This entry really blows a dump pussy.
Did I mention that I was called a dump pussy?
ah fuck this fucking entry I will write a doozy at 5 am.
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[04 Nov 2005|04:40pm] |
i am quite sick.
these haunted fevers have brought me to some strange strange places in my mind, whereas the chills leave me petrified.
i am not too lonely though, every once in awhile the heater whispers sweet nothings in my ear...
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| stealing a survey |
[27 Oct 2005|01:05am] |
10 Firsts
1. First boyfriend/girlfriend:
*Real boyfriend? urmm I would say my first real actual boyfriend was dan I think in grade 10, I think.
2. First best friend: Samantha.
3. First screen name: I think it was northern cutie, and that might still be on my profile for msn, SAWEEEETTT
4. First drink: wine, that is right you stinkers I was refined... mmm really tasty homemade ice wine at the end of the night.
5. First piercings: Ears.
6. First crush: Michael Lavender
7. First music: Ace of Base
8. First stuffed animal: Sunny Bunny, got her the day I was born with my baby blankie
9. First school: Agnew Public School.
10. First book: ah shit I think one of the bernstein bears.
9 lasts:
1. last cigarette: never.
2. last drink: the murky apple juice ( you know what I am talking about kayley) with water
3. last movie seen: in the theatre? buahahhaha in her shoes, I am sure you are still cringing Cameron
4. last phone call: my mom
5. last cd played: broken social scene - you forget it in the people
6. last bubble bath: actualy bath with bubbles, the one matt made for Kayley and I since we refused to get into the packed hot tub.
7. last time you cried: hurmm I remember crying for 5 minutes, or rather fighting the tears for one, forcing them to stop for a solid two minutes, I think it was a week ago.
8. last date: curling club with kayley?
9. last time you ate something: a had a yogurt today, since I was HARASSED
8 have you evers:
1. have you ever dated one of your best friends: well sort of yes
2. have you ever skinny dipped: oh yes
3. have you ever been on tv: yes
4. have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: hurmm , not fully totally regret
5. have you ever fallen in love: why yes
6. have you ever lost someone you loved: yea
7. have you ever been depressed: holy dilly pickle, yes
8. have you ever woken up and not known where you were: god yes
7 places you've been to:
1. England
2. Florida
3. South Carolina
4. Labrador City
5. Yellowknife
6. Vancouver
7. cedar rapids
6 things you've done today:
1. Sang I just called to say I love you
2. brushed my teeth
3. gufawed at a request for a 5 page opinion paper single spaced size 9 font from a friend
4. talked to tyler until 5 am
5. peed? honestly it has been a slow day thus far
6. devised halloween costume ideas
5 of your favorite things in NO order:
1. Music
2. hugs, especially ones where I FLY
3. cake
4. kayyyyleyy
5. traveling
4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1. Kayley
2. Aaron
3. Kim
4. auntie janey
3 wishes:
1. find some sort of satisfaction in my life with respect to careers, relationships, security
2. travel zeeee world
3. the very best for those i hold near and dear to my heart
2 things you want to do before you die:
1. live in at least 8 great cities
2. travel europe until I know it like the back of my hand
1 thing you regret:
1. there is no way to properly regret anything, you would alter everything that has happend since the one incident in question.
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[14 Oct 2005|05:35pm] |
You are a Parisian.
What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla
We're leaving for paris in the mornnnnn kayley my dear! okay no.... two weeks from now
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[14 Oct 2005|04:58pm] |
IQUE
1. Nervous Habits: shaking violently, twisting my hair, twirling my ring, tappa tappa tappa, laughter
2. Are you double jointed? sort of, i can put my right foot out of place
3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yes i can, it is my look of love
5. Can you blow spit bubble? I really haven't tried in awhile to tell you the truth
6. Can you cross your eyes? if you could only see the pictures
7. Tattoos? no
8. Piercings and where? no
9. Do you make your bed daily? every day ish, i have been slacking lately
CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first? left usually
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? I have thrown much everything one could find at a person, my favourite.... the frozen can of juice at the back of the head
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? 20 at least
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? i don't wear anything 24/7 i take my moonstone ring off when i sleep, which has really been a solid 1 and half lately
14. Favorite piece of clothing? i would have to say......... my grey sweatpants
FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? really depends, but i would say that there is a half-twirl and then shove then re-twirl
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? FUCK NO!!! that is against everything I believe in
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? funky monkey, half baked, creamsicle, strawberry with actual berries in it, ahh i love my ice cream
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? it is hurting there is one
19. What's your favourite beverage? water, iced tea all flavours, tea, actual home made espresso
20. What's your favorite restaurant? the banana leaf, the golden thai, caribou, sushi bowl, porto de vino , and well fuck boston pizza ( somehow end up there)
21. Do you cook? when i have the time
GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth? 2 times a day sometimes three
23. Hair drying method? zee airrr
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? indeed, i wish i never had though
MANNERS
25. Do you swear? ohh do i ever, it's been a bit bad lately
26. Do you ever spit? sure do , whenever necessary
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
27. Animal? your mom?
28. Food? ohhhhh hurmm sushi, everything they serve in the golden thai, spring rolls from banana leaf, cake, pickles, mashed potats with grrravvvyyy, smoked duck linguine from caribou, asparagus, all chinese, fuck i love my food, BRIE, did i mention the brie
29. Month? hurmmmmm july, july is always promising or rather devistating, but i always have faith in it
30. Day? umm i do not have one, tuesday i guess, least amount of class
31. Favorite Cartoon Character? eii.... it's hard to sayyyyyy
32. Shoe Brand? i don't really care as long as i like them
33. Subject in school? psych
34. Color? emerald green
35. Sport? baseball
36. TV show? Lost, Gilmore Girls, My So-Called Life ( AHAAHAHHAHA i sawwww jordaannnn catalano)
IN AND AROUND ROOM
41. The CD player? yes...
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? i really haven't been using the phone lately, soooo kayley's answering machine
43. Ever taken a cab? yes
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? only when i am unsure of the person walking behind me
45. What color is your bedroom? turqoisey ish
46. Do you use an alarm clock? every fucking day
47. Window seat or aisle? window
LA LA LAND
48. What's your sleeping position? usually right side
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? i do like a little something something
50. Do you snore? no, and kim you do not snore by the by
51. Do you sleepwalk? no, but i mighttt
52. Do you talk in your sleep? it has happend before
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? sometimes
54. How about with the light on? noo? unless i am uber tired and just pass out
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? I both have been done, but if the tv is on i typically wake up more
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tarynjean's journal
